smalldeer: ([jade] spacey)
bug ([personal profile] smalldeer) wrote2016-09-09 04:35 pm
Entry tags:

camp stuff

as much as i love being and working in verdant upstate NY, i'm starting to feel like i don't want to do that forever. i guess it's sad to realise i'm not as in love with it as i was in my first year, but this year i guess nobody just... clicked the same way they did in first year. although there was less drama, too. but y'know. spice of life. this year was dull, is what i'm saying. i kept wanting to write on dreamwidth but then there wasn't anything to write about.

i want to stick with it for another year anyway. it's a good job, you get fed and housed for free for several months, and the kids really are something special. but still, something my boss said struck a wrong chord with me.

boss: so did you finish uni?
me: no, i failed
boss: oh, that sucks. what do you plan on doing after?
me: uhh..... (long pause) i don't know. idk. not sure
boss: (claps me on the shoulder) thats what i like to hear lol


the more i think about it the more im like "what the fuck". but i know him pretty well and i know he didnt mean it in the way it sounds, he just means he has a strong returning staff member who works hard, which is good for both of us. still, though. makes me wonder where my ambitions went lmao. it makes me... less enthusiastic about actually coming back, even though we both know i will.

i came back to some Pretty Extreme Bills To Pay that i really dont feel like talking about here but the current running total is £737.10 which im pretty sure is almost my entire paycheck form this summer so. bye cash dolla see u again someday

i might try setting up an online store thing at some point. i have some design ideas, but i also dont wanna just, y'know, resort to a cop-out advantage-taker like gender/sexuality pins that everyone is trying to sell to teenagers these days. i'll have to throw some spaghetti around to figure out some other ideas i guess, but hey, there's always that to fall back on

this post is turning out pretty cynical, sorry. but on a lighter note it's been real nice being back in the UK. nicer than i thought. the air here actually makes me want to get up and do things instead of sit down and pass time, and i guess i never noticed that before. is it the quality? the temperature? what is it. i just don't know. but it's good to be back.

also, my parents took the dog to a grooming salon and had her hand-stripped and washed and her teeth brushed and everything else and i am so relieved because. she looked very neglected. like, she wasn't, at all - my parents adore that dog - but they were under the impression that a scruffy look was a good look and lmty. it is not. that dog looked like an abused dog from one of the tearjerker NSPCA adverts lmfao

my cat is also very happy that i'm back and he hasn't left my side since ;^)

SO THAT'S LIFE

your video for today (nsfw lyrics):

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